Define "fooling around?"

Not a clear answer in one sense, is it, but at the same time, it is a very clear answer.

There is no list in the Bible that says "holding hands is cool, touching her breasts are not." Sorry--I think we all wish it were that easy or clear. So, we are forced to work backwards. You know that sexual intercourse is completely out--the Bible calls that fornication and it basically means having sex before you are married. Then, we know that our bodies are the temple of God, meaning, God is with us all the time and we are commanded to keep our bodies pure. Well, so what is purity? While I admit that might be different for different people, I think it's safe to think about it in this way--would I be cool with my parents being in the room with me while I did this. So, kissing probably is okay, hugging for sure, holding hands--but beyond that, you can tell would not be pure--ON THAT SIDE OF MARRIAGE. See, the analogy falls apart once you are married in that my wife and I have sexual relations that I still would not want my parents to view (it's a private issue), but in the context of marriage, those acts are not impure. In fact, they are holy.

I like Josh McDowell's comments that I heard when I was in college. The road to sexual intimacy is a road of diminishing returns. The more you do something, the more it no longer thrills, thus we look for deeper and more intimate thrills, culminating in intercourse. And that law continues to hold true there as is obvious when you hear about some of the sick ideas people have attempted in the name of sex.

So, somewhere between holding hands (which generally is fine) and intercourse (which is completely out prior to marriage) lies your answer. I can't give you an answer beyond that, or even tell you here's what I did. But if you combine the truths that I've laid out above, you should be able to see that there is a great risk in going far beyond hand-holding. Our bodies are designed for touch and intimacy, and once we start down that path, we are looking for stronger and stronger thrills. Most people do not have the discipline and force of will to continue in an intimate relationship (say where the two people constantly, once a week or more, engage in long bouts of heavy kissing and intimacy [longer than say 10 minutes]) and not fall into a deeper and deeper setting. I know many students who were very in love with God and strongly planned to remain a virgin end up in a setting that they simply could not get out of. And even if you think, "well, I can do it. Heck I am doing it." the mere fact that you can be very physical in a relationship and not have intercourse does not make it right. You also have to understand the teaching about your body needing to be a pure temple. And, let me assure you, those wrestling matches of pleasure will come back to haunt you when you do get married.

Hope that helps. I know it may be impossible, but your best course would be to refrain from all (yes, I said "all") physical contact or at least keep the kissing to a simple good night kiss.